5 Questions You Shouldn't Ask (But Really Want To) — Plaster Cast Theatre

There are some questions you should never ask, because a) They’re inappropriate, b) They’re invasive, and c) Your grandad’s manscaping routine is best left to the imagination. Here at Fringebiscuit, though, we don’t mince words. We’ve been asking #edfringe performers all the weird questions our nosy editors the world needs to know. Today it's the turn of Ayden and Lizzie, two transgender performers from Plaster Cast Theatre, whose fringe show 'Sound Cistem' is a joyful and thought-provoking piece about queer identity, and the cisgender gaze on the transgender body...

Fringebiscuit: If you could swap one body part for someone (or something) else’s, what would it be?

Ayden: As a trans person I'd have to say my right big toe, I'd swap it for a bigger right big toe!

Lizzie: I feel like it would be fun to swap my neck out for one like an owl’s, just to freak people out. Or like swap my eyes out for a hawk’s eyes so I can see for miles and miles and miles! Also, at this point in the run I’m more kinesiology tape than person, so if I could get the ankles of a long distance runner, or perhaps a hurdles champion, that would be great.

FB: Worst oddly-specific chat up line you’ve ever used or heard?

Ayden: I remember as a drunk 16 year old asking someone at a party "What's your sexuality?" as a precursor to making out with them.

Lizzie: I’m not socially smart enough to know when someone is flirting!

*Note: After this point, it’s not clear who said what in the transcript. Of course, we could’ve emailed Plaster Cast again to double-check, but we thought it’d be less effort more fun to imagine one of two scenarios: 1) Ayden and Lizzie spontaneously morphed into a double-headed humanoid, or 2) They inexplicably began speaking in complete unison. Either way, let’s continue…*

FB: The last time something you did/said completely changed the tone of the room?

Ayden/Lizzie: Saying “hahahah no because I’m gay” to my boyfriend at the time.

FB: “I’ll never say it out loud, but secretly I’m judging you for…”

Ayden/Lizzie: Not hating cops enough.

FB: You know it’s too much glitter when…

Ayden/Lizzie: When it's polluting the ecosystem, in our show we've made the switch to biodegradable glitter! We’ve started leaving a sparkly trail all round Edinburgh—it never goes away...

Catch Sound System at ZOO Playground until Aug 26. Tickets here.