5 Questions You Shouldn't Ask (But Really Want To) — Avital Ash

Out in the real world, some questions are best left unasked because 1)it's weird, 2)it doesn't concern you, 3)do you really wanna bond over thrush medication? Luckily, at Fringebiscuit we’ve tossed propriety out the window like a crying baby used tissue and are asking the questions that nobody everyone needs to know... Today's victim is US-based actor, writer & director Avital Ash, who is making her Edfringe stand-up debut with “Avital Ash Workshops Her Suicide Note”. Somehow she's spinning tales of depression, survivors’ guilt, Hasidic Judaism, generational Holocaust trauma, sexual assault and queernes— and keeping it hilarious... *

Fringebiscuit: Your suicide is successful 😥 BUT you're reincarnated 🎉 and have the power to choose your new life. What's the most absurd life you would want to experience?

Avital Ash: The most absurd life I can imagine is one as a dancer. I have no rhythm, no coordination, I'm incredibly clumsy. I’m so in my head, and the idea of instead being that connected to my body is amazing.

FB: Who would you pick as your sidekick in a superhero movie about overcoming generational Holocaust trauma and what is the plot?

AA: Sarah Silverman, cuz she’d get it. We’d improvise such dark, funny lines. Sadly, the plot would be cliche and one-dimensional. We’d kick ass together, starting with studio execs. We’d hold them hostage so Jews would actually get to play Jews in Hollywood. Then we’d move on to neo-nazis and eventually Hitler himself. The writers are on strike and it’s the best A.I. could do, unfortunately!

FB: If you could choose any celebrity to narrate your life’s tragedy, who would it be and why?

AA: Leonard Cohen. That gravelly voice. The wisdom and cheekiness in his delivery. Gimme. 

Him, or Kristin Chenoweth. She’s tremendous, and the high-pitched cheeriness of her voice would be a great contrast to the tragedy. Fun!

FB: If your depression were a brand, what would be its tagline?

AA: “She’s baaaaack.” And it would have scary artwork and the score would sound like the JAWS theme.

FB: You have carte blanche to start a new religious cult with you as its leader. What is it called and what do they believe?

AA: Temple of the Dog. Animal-love-based religious cult. Our highest priority would be rescuing animals and cuddling them whenever they needed, which would be often. We’d abolish factory farming and do goat yoga and watch puppies and kittens nap together. I’d have loads of squirrel friends. And let’s have a uniform, just so we never have to think about what to wear. Pros: Our focus would be on kindness toward all living things. Cons: Our drug use would be considerable.

Catch Avital Ash Workshops Her Suicide Note at the Monkey Barrel: The Tron at 10.05pm from 1st – 27th August (not 14th). Tickets here.

*We suspect witchcraft.